Healing from Trauma Is Not A Straight Path.

Therapy is an investment and a journey. Perfectionistic and anxious people often want therapy to feel almost formulaic—A + B = C. Now I am less anxious, less sad, and overall functioning better in two weeks. Thank you and done. But healing is not a straight line. It’s a process—one that unfolds at its own pace. This doesn’t mean you’re doing therapy “wrong”—it just means healing takes time and doesn’t always follow a predictable path.

I completely understand the urgency to feel better. When you’re hurting or struggling, it’s only natural to want quick relief. You might feel like you’ve already spent so much time carrying the weight of your pain and just want it to be over. In therapy, we will first work on immediate needs and address your nervous system to help you get grounded. Then, we might attend to the biggest obstacles and stressors in your life. That’s the “outer layer of the onion.” In trauma-informed therapy, healing from attachment wounds or complex ptsd can take time—just like growth in the natural world. Seasons change gradually, and nature unfolds in its own rhythm. Therapeutic healing is similar—your nervous system, your mind, and your body all need time to adjust, process, and integrate change.

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We don’t live in a process-driven culture. We’re product-driven. We’re used to setting goals, working hard, and seeing results. It’s tempting to approach therapy the same way: How can I master this? How do I make progress faster? Many hard workers and/or high performers are used to doing things perfectly—by staying organized, working extra hard, and being hypervigilant. But there is no formula for therapy. There’s no checklist to guarantee success. Therapy is a journey that we tailor to fit your specific needs, and sometimes that means slowing down, feeling your way through, and allowing space for setbacks and progress alike.

Healing means learning to hold space for yourself with compassion, even when things get messy. It’s not about perfection or mastery—it’s about showing up, doing the work, and allowing yourself to grow. I believe that we can always learn, heal, and move forward—no matter how winding the path may be.